Wednesday, April 28, 2010

There Is Hope

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. For two years I spent countless days and nights crying, praying, and wishing to be a mother. I wondered why God had chosen me to be infertile rather than so many others I saw effortlessly have children. I spent many hours reading through the Bible looking for scriptures that would apply to me and give me comfort. I listened to a lot of songs that gave me hope. I felt in my heart there would be a day that God would bless us with a child, but I had a hard time waiting.

We started our TTC journey in November 2007 and didn't think it would take very long. We were 26 and healthy, why wouldn't we have a baby within a years time? God had other plans for us. We suffered two miscarriages, a house fire, a clotting disorder diagnosis, and ovulatory dysfunction. It took two OBs and a lot of testing. I finally convinced the 2nd OB to try medication in August 2009 and within three months our prayers were answered on October 31, 2009, the last cycle before we moved on to expensive injectables and IUI that we were not sure how we would pay for.

I've said this a lot on here, and I mean it, God has a funny way with HIS timing. I am a HUGE planner (as most of you know) and his plan was vastly different from mine. In my plan I would already be thinking about adding a second child to our family, not still waiting on our first. I know He wanted our marriage stronger and for me to learn that I needed patience. I am actually thankful for the lessons we learned during those two years. Through it all, infertility, house fire, rebuilding, multiple miscarriages, and now a high risk pregnancy, God has had a plan.

I have spent a lot of my time during my pregnancy thinking about all of my friends IRL and in blog land that I have shared my journey of infertility with. Every day, several times a day, you are in my thoughts, prayers, and heart. Please continue to trust in God's plan for you and don't give up hope. Here is a glimpse at our little miracle to remind you that God hears your prayers and he DOES have a plan for you.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my HOPE. Psalms 130:5