I'll Be Missing You

As I'm sure all of you regulars have noticed, I have not blogged a lot lately.  I am just going through a lot right now.  I am busier at work than I have been since I changed positions last year, trying to get settled in our house, and trying to spend more time with Michael.  Also, I am just going to be honest with you.  I am having a hard time right now trying to understand why I've been TTC for a year and a half without a successful pregnancy.  Also, we are having a hard time financially right now.  Car sales hit rock bottom this month and I am not real sure how much longer we can survive if they do not come up soon.  So, anyway, I've been spending a lot of time praying and trying to focus on other things.

Kelly posted that she is taking a blogging hiatus and I think that is a fabulous idea.  I have only been online on the weekends lately anyway, so for right now, I am going to take a break.  I just need to refocus and get somethings in order.  I just need a break.

I do promise I will be back, and probably pretty soon!  I am still praying for you and will probably check in on you from time to time during my break.  You girls have gotten me through some hard times before, so I know I can't leave you now.  It is just that I know in my heart that I need to spend my time with Michael and refocus on my priorities.  I will probably check in this weekend, but if I don't, I'll see you again soon!  :-)

8 Things...

Natalie at The Brocks Rock tagged me a couple of weeks ago to answer these questions.  I am just now getting around to it.  :(

8 Things I am Looking Forward To:

1. Having a baby 

2. Getting out of debt

3. Meeting even more new friends through blogging

4. Getting our house back together

5. Taking a vacation soon

6. Car sales picking up so we can do #2 and #5!

7. Getting out boat out on the lake!

8. Enjoying the summer

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Pedicure

2. Cleaned kitchen

3. Laundry

4. Watched Baby Mama

5. Took a Nap

6. Ate at Logan's with Michael and his dad

7. Sat on my patio 

8. Took a Bath

(Yes, I had a relaxing day!)

8 Things I wish I could do:

1. Have a baby

2. Have my boat at a marina

3. Park in the garage

4. Know that we can definitely afford a vacation and plan one

5. Pay off all of my debt

6. Eat out every day (I love to cook, but it is so much easier to just go out!)

7. Quit work and be a stay at home mom

8. Live without my blackberry (I am an addict!)

8 Shows I Watch

1. Desperate Housewives

2. Celebrity Apprentice

3. Dancing With The Stars

4. Gray's Anatomy

5. Dean and Tori (yes, I know it is pitiful)

6. Girls Next Door (even more pitiful!)

7. E! News (don't judge, where do you get your news?)

8. Today Show

I tag Brittany, Julie, Lianna, and Anna.

One Week Down, Another Begins

I am so glad to have the past week behind me.  In case you can't tell, it was quite busy given the fact I have not written or posted any comments!  I am still hoping to post some Easter pictures soon, but my camera is dead and I have no clue where my charger is!  Crisis!

We have had a pretty good weekend.  Yesterday Michael's dad came back into town to finish the garage project.  It is ALMOST finished.  I wish I had a before pic, but just imagine wall to wall boxes!  We have most of everything that needs to go in the attic up and a lot that needs to go to Goodwill, so hopefully, by next weekend my car will see the inside of the garage again!

Not much else going on with us.  We are just getting ready for another week.  Tomorrow is looking busy and so is Tuesday.  It is always busy when one of my doctors has been out of town as Dr. Barker has been.  Also, if you or someone you knows needs a car, Michael would LOVE to sell you one!  :)

Happy Birthday Michael!

Happy Birthday to this super sweet, wonderful guy that I met on a blind date seven years ago and married three years later!  I love you more today than I did yesterday, the day before that, the year before that, and the year before that!  You are my best friend and the person I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life!

I hope you had a great Birthday and that this year will be the best year you've ever had!!!!!  (I'll do better next year and make sure the camera has a full battery before we go out for your birthday!  I love you anyway!!!!)

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 Is Not So Bad...So Far!

Thank you for all the Happy Birthday wishes on here and facebook!  You are the best!  I had a great birthday yesterday and so far, 28 is not so bad.  I spent the day shopping and going to lunch with my mom and then last night we went to see my favorite cover band, The Velcro Pygmies (for those of you who asked) at Rhythm and Brews with my best friend 

Lauren and her husband, Eric.  We had a lot of fun!  

At Big River before the concert eating dinner.  

At the concert!  We had so much fun, even though it is was crowded and hot.

The best picture I have (even though it is terrible) of the band.

Thank you for all the prayers for my friends and family in Murfreesboro.  I'm sure Michelle will have pics up soon on her blog when the power gets restored.  She has already posted a few on facebook.  Very scary!  My two biggest fears have always been heights and storms. 

Today, I've been cleaning the house like a mad woman because Michael's family is coming in for the weekend and I have neglected the house this week with all that is going on.  I'll post some pictures from tonight and Easter tomorrow!  Hope everyone has a very safe and Happy Easter!

Urgent Prayer Request

My good friend Michelle and her family need your prayers!  Her mother's home was destroyed today by the tornadoes that swept through the Murfreesboro area this afternoon.  They are all ok, but I know how they feel it is so scary and heartbreaking.  I don't have any other details, but as far as I know, all of my friends and family there are safe.  

(UPDATE:  I received a text from my cousin and their neighborhood was hit hard, but they were lucky and their house was ok.  Please pray for their neighbors as they start to clean up.)

We also had some bad weather this afternoon.  This is what it looked like in my backyard when it was all over.  I have never seen hail that large!  It was golfball sized when it was coming down. (please excuse my dead potted plants!  I was planning on working on that today before the nasty weather!)

You've Gotta Have Friends

Those of you who are regular readers know that I love my job and those that I work with.  They all knew that I was having a hard time with this birthday and decided to do a little something to cheer me up.  This is what I walked in to find my friends doing this morning...

They decorated my door and office.  Love you, Kristy and Cindy!  You are the best!

Another girl in the office had a birthday today, so we shared a party!  This is our yummy cake that my friend Dana had our mom make for us.  Thank you!!!!  It was super tasty!

Are these cupcakes not the CUTEST, most girly cupcakes you've ever seen!  We all wore the rings out the them all day!  Mine matched my outfit! Ha!

  

Everyone brought yummy food and we all ate all day long.  Both of my doctors came to eat with me and that meant a lot that they took time out of their busy day to spend a few minutes with me.  Again, I love you all!  Thank you all for the Happy Birthday and all the love and support you show me everyday.  You all really are the best coworkers anyone could ask for!

My dad did have his surgery today and is now back at home resting.  He did have a pretty bad infection and large stone.  He has a stent in his urethra now and will have another procedure on Monday to break up the stone so he can pass it.  Please continue to pray for him.

Tomorrow will be a busy Birthday for me!  My mom and I are going shopping for my birthday and then Michael and I are going to see my favorite cover band with my BFF Lauren and her husband, Eric tomorrow night!  I am getting excited about the day after all.  I'm sure it will still have a few minutes of sadness here and there, but I owe it to my friends at work for making sure I started my birthday off right today!  

THANK YOU!!!!!

The Birthday Blues

Every year of my life I have been excited about my birthday and eager for the next year.  This year is just a little different.  I know it is crazy to a lot of you, but all of my life I have had my goal of being a college graduate, wife, world traveler, and a mother by the time I am 28 (or out of high school 10 years).  I have accomplished all of these goals except the most important one (to me) and I turn 28 in two days.  Part of me is still looking forward to the next year, but the other half just sees another year filled with another empty Mother's Day, Christmas, and another due date will come and go without a baby.  I almost started crying today when someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday!  Would it be weird if I told them I just want to ovulate????  Haha!

This time last year I just KNEW I would have a baby by the time my birthday rolled around again.  Same thing with Mother's Day, which is quite depressing considering it is a holiday honoring those who have the one thing I want more than anything (but that is another story for another post!).  I also get sad when I think about the fact that I just knew that I would have at least one baby, if not two, by the time I went to my 10 year high school reunion (which is in September).  The other day on facebook (which is quickly becoming the devil to this infertile girl!) I had a mini meltdown when yet someone else made a pregnancy announcement.  I just feel like I will be the only one at the reunion without a baby or pregnancy story (at least one with a happy ending).  I know that is not the case, but it feels like it more often than not.  I just don't feel like I am where I always thought I would be and it brings me down.  I am hoping I have an unexpected peace when Friday gets here.

I am taking off from work on my birthday to go shopping with my mom.  I have always had to work on Good Friday, so I am excited to have the day off.  My favorite 80s cover band will be playing at a club downtown Friday night, so we might go see them, but I am not sure yet.  

Tomorrow is my dad's surgery.  Please continue to pray for him and his urologist as he undergoes his procedure.  I'll update you all tomorrow night.  Thanks again for all the emails, comments, and prayers you've sent.  You girls are the best!

Burrrrrrr!

Again, are we sure it is Springtime?!  It is 41 degrees at my house right now and we've had snow showers on and off all day!  CRAZINESS!

Update on my dad.  He had a lot more pain and complications from his kidney stone, so he is now sitting at the hospital waiting to be admitted by his urologist.  I just got home from work (at the same hospital he is at), but I am going to change clothes, go get their dog and bring him to my house, and then I may go back and check on him before bedtime.   Please continue to pray for him.  Looks like he will have tonight and tomorrow in the hospital, then on Thursday they will push the stone back into the kidney (from where it is lodged) and then he will go back to the office for a procedure to break it up to pass it on Monday.

I'll try to update again tomorrow, but I am not sure how my day is going to go around work and seeing my dad.

It is Spring, right?!

What is wrong with this picture?  That's right snow and a high of 45 for tomorrow then a high of 70 two days later!!?  What great spring weather!  Ha!  Hopefully Easter will be warm and pretty!

We had a pretty busy weekend.  Saturday I went and got a pedicure and walked around Homegoods and Hobby Lobby (yes, it is impossible for me to stay away!).  I got a super cute easter egg wreath for my door, I'll have to take a picture tomorrow evening, it is dark and I am in pjs.  Saturday night we went to eat and hang out with some friends at The Terminal, a new brewery downtown.  

Yesterday we spent the day with Michael's sister, Melissa.  I forgot my camera (bad blogger, I know!), but we had a lot of fun.  We went downtown and sat outside and enjoyed the pretty afternoon until it started raining.  Then we went to PF Chang's and ate dinner.

Today was yet another busy day at work.  Not sure what is going on, but it seems EVERYONE is either having a problem or needs surgery all of a sudden!  We aren't going to complain about that though, business is good!  :-)   My dad did have to come in and see Dr. Smith today.  He was having some pretty bad abdominal/back pain and we were concerned that it might be a flair up of his diverticulitis, but turns out it was just a kidney stone!  He is at home trying to take pain meds and drink lots of water.  He could use your prayers for a fast, pain free passing of his kidney stone!  :-)  I've had four, they are NOT fun!

TGIF!

As most of you know if you have been reading, I've had a couple of hard weeks.  I am not sure if it is just being back in my house (which was very overwhelming in itself.  I just feel so blessed to have it back in one piece and to how lucky we were) and having time to think, but it has been really hard.  I have also had a couple of bad weeks at work and knowing another birthday and holiday (both in one weekend) without a child, is just around the corner just combines to bring me down.  However, sometimes I think that it can always be worse and that I need to just give thanks for what I DO have.  

God has blessed my life in so MANY ways!  When I get upset or sad, my supportive husband is there to pick me up.  God knew what He was doing when he put someone so laid back in my highstrung life!  There are so many that do not have parents like I do.  When I get frustrated with them I try to remember that they care and that is why they are they way they are sometimes.  When I worry about paying the bills or upset about things that I need to replace from the fire, I remember that at least I have a home that is mine and almost all of our belongings.  It was the most overwhelming experience the day we moved in and I realized that we came so close to losing everything we had.  When I get stressed at work, I praise God that I have a job that so many do not have.  I have been blessed with amazing friends that without them, I would not be able to make it some days.  I cannot imagine what it would be like to live a life without friends (that includes you blogger friends too!).  

So, when you start to feel down or sad, try to remember the good things happening in your life as well as the sad.  I know that sometimes the sad outweigh the happy, but it does help to praise God for the blessings too!

Midweek Happiness!

Yay for the week being halfway over!  I am soooooooooooo ready for the weekend!  I haven't slept well this week and had a couple of long days at work and an all day conference today, so I am READY for the weekend! 

I have also had a hard time this week.  I had this crazy goal when I graduated high school that I would have five things accomplished by the time I turned 28.  I would earn a bachelor's degree, get married, have a great job, travel, and have a baby.  Well, I've done all but one of these things.  The difficult part is that I turn 28 next week and I feel that I have failed at the most important goal of all.   I know it will happen one day soon, but until then I just feel down.  I have never failed at anything I set my mind to and it is hard when something this important is out of my control.  Yes, I have control issues!  Ha!

I found this on a blog this week and I wanted to post it for you to read.  http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blogger/lgordon/2009/03/23/good-morning-infertility

It is EXACTLY how I feel most days.  I just thought that those of you who understand might want to read it and those of you who haven't been there might have a better insight to how I feel.  I have those exact feelings almost everyday.  It is so hard to get up everyday, do my same routine, and I even feel sad at work.  I really don't think I could have put this in writing any better!

Hope everyone has a great Thursday!  :-)