Every year of my life I have been excited about my birthday and eager for the next year. This year is just a little different. I know it is crazy to a lot of you, but all of my life I have had my goal of being a college graduate, wife, world traveler, and a mother by the time I am 28 (or out of high school 10 years). I have accomplished all of these goals except the most important one (to me) and I turn 28 in two days. Part of me is still looking forward to the next year, but the other half just sees another year filled with another empty Mother's Day, Christmas, and another due date will come and go without a baby. I almost started crying today when someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday! Would it be weird if I told them I just want to ovulate???? Haha!
This time last year I just KNEW I would have a baby by the time my birthday rolled around again. Same thing with Mother's Day, which is quite depressing considering it is a holiday honoring those who have the one thing I want more than anything (but that is another story for another post!). I also get sad when I think about the fact that I just knew that I would have at least one baby, if not two, by the time I went to my 10 year high school reunion (which is in September). The other day on facebook (which is quickly becoming the devil to this infertile girl!) I had a mini meltdown when yet someone else made a pregnancy announcement. I just feel like I will be the only one at the reunion without a baby or pregnancy story (at least one with a happy ending). I know that is not the case, but it feels like it more often than not. I just don't feel like I am where I always thought I would be and it brings me down. I am hoping I have an unexpected peace when Friday gets here.
I am taking off from work on my birthday to go shopping with my mom. I have always had to work on Good Friday, so I am excited to have the day off. My favorite 80s cover band will be playing at a club downtown Friday night, so we might go see them, but I am not sure yet.
Tomorrow is my dad's surgery. Please continue to pray for him and his urologist as he undergoes his procedure. I'll update you all tomorrow night. Thanks again for all the emails, comments, and prayers you've sent. You girls are the best!