Friday, July 1, 2011

To Nicholas On Your First Birthday

Dear Nicholas,

I had planned to write a letter to you before you were born, but you surprised us and came before I had a chance to do it.  However, if you go back and read the posts on this blog and my old blog from before you were born, I think I pretty much covered everything I wanted to say to you there.  We prayed for you for almost three years before you surprised us at 1:30 in the morning on July 1, 2010.  We hoped and prayed for a healthy, happy baby and God blessed us with you.  The greatest gift either of us have ever received.
You were born at 4:28 am on Thursday, July 1, 2010.  I have never felt so happy, so much love, and so thankful in my life.  I will never be able to explain the feeling I had at that moment.  Since you were almost two weeks early we were a little nervous that you wouldn't want to breathe well on your own, however, you didn't have any problems with that at all!  You screamed for the next three hours! :-)  The one thing I want you to always understand about the day you were born is that it proved God is so good, all of the time, even in your darkest days.  There were so many days Mommy never thought she would ever hold a baby of her own.  He is very faithful, never forget that.  This picture is one of the most true evidence of that.
You were the most anticipated baby either of our families had ever had.  We had all waited a long time for you.  Everyone was in the waiting room waiting to meet you.  Daddy and I kept you in the recovery room with us for a an hour and a half before you went to be check in at the nursery.  Everyone watched you from the window and everyone instantly loved you...of course!
That night we spent a couple hours just getting to know you.  I will never forget the love between you and your daddy instantly.  You definitely loved each other from the moment you first met!
The day we came home, Sunday, July 4 was the second best day of our lives (behind the day you were born of course!).  I had spent so many days and nights wondering if we would ever get the chance to have our very own stork in our yard.  I cried when we got home and I saw a stork with your name on it in our yard!  I was reminded again that God is so good, all of the time, even in your darkest days.  He is very faithful, never forget that.  You are true evidence of that.
We put you in your bed and you immediately snuggled with your friend the lion.  You were immediately a snuggle bug, which is definitely one of my favorite things about you.  You love to snuggle with anyone!  Especially if you are tired or not feeling well.  You have always been a good sleeper.  The night we came home I had to wake up up to feed you, all you wanted to do was sleep!  There were many nights you almost slept all night!  We kept you in our room for five weeks and one the night we moved you to your room, you slept until 5:45!  You slept 12 hours when you were 6 weeks old!  It was amazing how good we all felt that morning!  You did that again a few more times until you were 11 weeks old and then you started sleeping from 7am-7pm regularly!  I was so happy that you slept all night just in time for Mommy to go back to work!
As much as I love you and as happy as I was that you were finally safely with us, we had a very rough first few weeks.  You had a milk protein and soy allergy that was very hard to recognize because you didn't have all of the classic symptoms.  We finally saw a GI doctor when you were 8 weeks old and you were almost immediately better after starting you on a very expensive, special formula called pregestimil.  It was worth every penny we spent over the next ten months!  Even during those LONG, hard days that you cried almost non stop, I always said thank you for you and I never stopped remembering all of those days I cried wanting you.  I remembered the line in my favorite poem from infertility, "my dream will be crying for me".  Again, you were evidence of such a faithful God.

We took you to church for the first time at 5 weeks.  It meant a lot to me to take you.  I spent so many days and nights praying for you for years before you were born, I was ready to praise God for giving you to us!  You were so good in church that day.  You just looked around and then slept the rest of the time!  You went to the nursery for the first time on Easter and loved it.  You are so good about going and staying at new places.  I'm very thankful for that!
As you grew we started to see signs that you were going to be a very sweet, outgoing, funny little personality.  You started showing us your easy going side and I loved being able to capture that on camera and you loved show it to us!
As you continued to grow you got more and more independent and more and more adorable!  You started "school" on Monday, September 27.  I remember being so nervous when I dropped you off.  I didn't cry, but I had a hard time driving off.  I wanted to run back in and take you home!  I couldn't wait for 5:00 to come so I could take you home and snuggle with you!  You love school from the very first day and Mommy and Daddy are so thankful for that.  We also love, love, love your teacher and we are so sad to leave her class.  I'm a little worried how you are going to do without your Ms. Carla!  I can't believe how much you have grown since your 1st day of school!
 The holidays were another dream come true and evidence of how faithful God is!  I always asked him that if I ever had a baby to spend Christmas with, could He please give us a white Christmas to go with it.  Not only did we get a white Christmas, but it was our first in 25 years!  God is so GOOD!
 You continued to grow and explore.  You became more and more independent and after you turned 6 months old we saw even more signs of how fun loving and sweet you are!
 You also had a few rough months during the winter.  You had RSV and three ear infections from January 22-end of March.  It was a very long, hard time for all of us, but you were such a good baby through it all.  This picture says it all.  This was on one of the worst days we had and one of the sickest that you ever were.  You always slept well (even though Mommy didn't because you coughed all night long and cried out in your sleep) and you were always happy.  Bless your sweet little heart!
 You got tubes at the end of March and we've had a healthy, happy baby ever since.  Unfortunately you did develop asthma because of the RSV, but we take steps everyday to keep that under control and you don't have any problems because of it anymore.

One thing I will have to will anyone who has met you, you are an EXCELLENT eater!  You will try anything once and I haven't found anything you won't eat!  You LOVE your food!  Haha!
You are the light of our lives and so worth the wait.  We cannot imagine our lives without you.  You brighten the day of everyone you come in contact with.  I have been stopped out in public and told how precious and sweet you are!  You are so laid back and you adapt well to every surrounding you are in.  You are definitely a good baby and I am so thankful for that.
  God has blessed us in so many ways by giving you to us.  We all love you more than you will ever know or imagine.  I rocked you to sleep last night and the entire time just thanked God for the chance to be your Mommy.  You have made my world such a better place and you have brought so much love, laughter, and light into our home.  I always want you to remember that you are a gift from God and if nothing else, proof that no matter how dark and sad your day is, God is ALWAYS faithful, you just have to have hope and patience.
We Love You Sweet Nicholas!