Sunday, February 21, 2010

So Long Insecurity

As you know, I am so excited to go to Atlanta in April and meet up with some of my best bloggy friends and have a girl's weekend with Courtney. However, that is not the best part of the weekend. The best part will be seeing Beth Moore! I love Beth and it always seems like she is speaking right to me, no matter what the topic. Well, insecurity is my #1 flaw. I have a HUGE case of insecurity and I hate it.

I do not remember a time that I wasn't insecure. I can remember thinking that no one liked me (sadly a major battle I still fight every day) in preschool! However, I think I came a long way in the past few years, but lately it has come back hard. I still fight the "no one likes me" battle. I feel that I am invisible a lot and I am always insecure in the way I look (even on my wedding day). Lately though, I am finding that I am insecure regarding some other things in my life (These are not the top three things in my life, don't get me wrong, my priorities are definitely Faith, Family, Friends, then work). I'm insecure about what kind of wife I am now that I am pregnant and honestly just do not feel well 90% of the time. I'm insecure and nervous about what kind of a mother I will be to Nicholas, and I am insecure about what kind of nurse I am and in that comes my crazy OCD sense of control that I HAVE to be there for my surgeons for every office and I worry how I will let that go when I am off. I worry about how I will balance the three when I return from maternity leave.

So, with those weighing heavily on my mind, I have started reading Beth's newest book, So Long Insecurity. I had a really hard day this past Wednesday worrying about balancing those three things and I started panicking about it. I ran out yesterday and bought this book and so far it is like she knows EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I'll let you know how I felt about the rest when I finish.


Amanda (McNeely) Vestal said...

Looking forward to ATL too! I am only through the first three chapters...but it is so good!

Beth said...

I LOVE Beth Moore! She is one of the best. I watch her every Wednesday on Life Today on TBN/Daystar. I wish I could go to ATL with y'all. I will just have to settle with reading her book and watching on TV. I finally found you on facebook tonight - thanks for adding me. Hope you have a nice week!

Lauren said...

I just started reading the book too.... and let me tell you, you are NOT alone in your insecurity struggle!!!!

Jenn said...

I plan to buy the book too. I am not going to the trip, but I love her as well.

PS. please email me your address. i keep losing it! Thanks!