Friday, December 24, 2010

Best Gift Ever

The past few Christmases have been very emotional for me.  Three years ago we had just found out we didn't get pregnant on our first month TTC.  I was surprised, as all of my friends got pregnant easily the first month out, why didn't we?  Two years ago my world was completely shattered.  Our home had been destroyed in a fire fifteen days before and we were in the middle of a miscarriage.  Last year I was 12 weeks pregnant and scared to death.  I prayed all three of those Christmas that God would bless us with a Baby's First Christmas one day and if it wasn't too much to ask, could we have a little snow then too.  I am so happy that day is here!  I think it is true, "good things come in small packages"!

I want to tell my friends out there that are still waiting on a baby that I have thought so much about you this week.  I have found myself so emotional this week and I know it is because I am so overwhelmed with so many emotions.  For the past few years (even before we were TTC and I felt like so many of my friends had children except for us) I have felt so sad on Christmas.  Something was definitely missing and I felt like we might never have a Christmas with a baby.  God has given me such a wonderful gift this year for being patient and faithful (even though it was SO HARD at times).  We have sweet Nicholas and we are getting our first Christmas snow in over 20 years in Chattanooga!  Don't tell me that isn't part of His plan!  I spent so many sad days over the past few years and I'll tell you that I honestly wouldn't change a thing.  I came through it all such a different person.  I am truly a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, because of what I went through.  God knows exactly what He is doing.  THERE IS A PLAN for you!  Trust Him and have Hope, I know it is hard sometimes.  Know that I am praying for you all this week, and every other day of the year.  I've been where you are and I know the hurt you have during the holidays.

I bought this shirt two years ago even though we were pretty sure we would not be having a September baby that year because I needed to buy something to give me hope.  I bought it in a three month size, so it is a little small! Haha!
 My boys love each other so much!  I just had to show you this picture too!
In the two years we were TTC I had all of these ideas of how things were going to be when Baby Ledford came.  I was judgemental of mothers and things they did.  I was going to do things so differently.  Well, Nicholas came and I realized that I was not half the mom I thought I was! Ha!  I have always loved the song "A Baby Changes Everything" by Faith Hill, but this year it has such a different meaning to me.  Can you imagine being a teenager, not married, and knowing that not only were you pregnant, but having THE SON OF GOD?!!  I cannot even remotely imagine how scared Mary must have been.  God is so good to us and continues to give us amazing gifts every day.
Merry Christmas to all of my real life and blog friends (even though so many of you are both now!).