I do not remember a time that I wasn't insecure. I can remember thinking that no one liked me (sadly a major battle I still fight every day) in preschool! However, I think I came a long way in the past few years, but lately it has come back hard. I still fight the "no one likes me" battle. I feel that I am invisible a lot and I am always insecure in the way I look (even on my wedding day). Lately though, I am finding that I am insecure regarding some other things in my life (These are not the top three things in my life, don't get me wrong, my priorities are definitely Faith, Family, Friends, then work). I'm insecure about what kind of wife I am now that I am pregnant and honestly just do not feel well 90% of the time. I'm insecure and nervous about what kind of a mother I will be to Nicholas, and I am insecure about what kind of nurse I am and in that comes my crazy OCD sense of control that I HAVE to be there for my surgeons for every office and I worry how I will let that go when I am off. I worry about how I will balance the three when I return from maternity leave.
So, with those weighing heavily on my mind, I have started reading Beth's newest book, So Long Insecurity. I had a really hard day this past Wednesday worrying about balancing those three things and I started panicking about it. I ran out yesterday and bought this book and so far it is like she knows EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I'll let you know how I felt about the rest when I finish.