I did go out and run some errands yesterday. First, I went to mail a letter to try to postpone jury duty for at least three months, considering I am not currently living in my state and that I do not feel "emotionally equipped". Given all that has gone on and the fact that my HSG is the same day as my jury duty, I KNOW I could not give all that I should to serving as a juror. I don't mind doing it, but right now, I just don't think I am the best person for the job. Second, I went to buy a cute pair of black dress shoes for Valentine's Day! :-)
Today we went by the house so Michael could see all of our pretty sheetrock (seriously, until your ceilings are caving in and there are no walls, you have never seen such a pretty site!). Here is how our house looks after week 4 of the rebuild! This weeks agenda is to finish the sheetrock to be ready for paint by next Monday!!!!!
Today has been a hard day. Sometimes I just have to remind myself of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Days like today I wonder, why me, why do I not have a beautiful baby and why am I not sitting on my couch in MY living room with that baby? I HATE asking why, I know I am not supposed to, but there are days it is so hard. It is days like today that I wonder when it will ever be my turn. Will I ever just spend the day admiring my beautiful baby in our pjs on the couch? I am sad tonight and praying for all of us in this journey together. I know there are so many of us out there. We WILL have our baby one day, it just may not be on OUR time, but it WILL be on HIS time!
8 comments:
Amanda - As a mom to a daughter who also struggles with infertility - I have become more sensitive to your pain. I fear she handles it much more gracefully than I. You are right, in His time. His perfect time. I watched her sweetly congratulate her siblings as they began their families. At times our tears did mingle. One day God said, 'Yes, yes, yes.' My son in law jokes that God saw their patience and allowed them to catch up in one whoosh! She would like another child and feels God has kept her sensitive and open to adoption for that reason. Keep praisng, keep trusting, perhaps in an unexpected way, God will say 'Yes' to you as well.
I'm so glad to see progress on the house!!!!
And I can't WAIT until you are sitting on YOUR couch holding YOUR baby. I pray it will be VERY soon!
Praying for you Amanda! I know one day you'll be able to enjoy your home with a sweet baby in it :o)
I too am on the same journey, it is so sad and lonely at times. I will pray that we both have our own babies to hold soon!
Your house is looking great! I can't wait to see the final product :)
Praying for you Amanda...and I know He will bless you with that baby you so long for.
P.S. I think he's waiting on that gorgeous house to get finished :)
I am on the same journey and have had many of the same feelings this past week. It's nice to know I'm not the only one thinking these things and feeling this way. Thanks for the reminder of waiting on His timing and His way!
Hang in there girl! Ya know what? I think it is perfectly okay to ask why... God understands! I'm praying for you and there is no doubt you will be admiring your beautiful little one (or oneS) in your pjs, on your couch some day soon!
Yay for sheetrock! It is the little things in life :)!
I pray for you daily beautiful and I hope that YOUR day comes soon!!!
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