I have an award to give. It is the "I Will Not Be Silent About Infertility" Award for those who are not silent about infertility. I know I definitely deserved the award when I looked at the criteria:
-If you could make a little house from used pee sticks and OPKs. (Check! I was embarrassed that the movers saw all the empty boxes in my vanity!!!)
-If you talk in TTC acronyms nobody except people on the internet understand. (check!)
-If you have ever been stuck with any needles in order to achieve pregnancy. (check!)
-If you have had to stick yourself, or your husband has had to turn into your nurse in order to do it for you.
-If you've ever seen a blank ultrasound screen. (check! So much that I dread the next time I have to go in for a prenatal appointment)
-If you have ever gotten shower invites, family photos, or birth announcements in the mail and had a good cry. (sadly, check)
-If you have watched someone go through an entire cycle of pregnancy in the time it took you to even try. (check, check, check, check, and check)
-If you have ever heard "just relax" or "it's not your time" or "it's God's will". (check!)
-If you dread holidays because you cannot announce a pregnancy to your family. (check!)
-If you dread holidays because there are no children to share them with. (check!)
-If you have ever held a baby or child and quietly pretended for a second that they're yours. (check!)
-If you have ever walked around the store in order to avoid the baby/toddler section. (check! Did that the other day in Walmart)
-If you cannot park in the front spots of a store because they are for pregnant and expectant mothers only. (check, I did that the other day thinking I got a good spot, imagine how upset that made me 2 days post miscarriage)
-If you've ever had to go IN the baby/toddler section of a store in order to buy something for someone else's baby. (check!)
-If you've ever yelled out during watching a movie or tv show about someone who's trying for a baby, "That's SO not realistic!" (check, again embarrassing!)
-If you've ever sat around with a group of women who shared birth stories and labor pains and felt like you didn't fit in. (check, almost every day at work)
-If you've ever told anyone you are infertile and they're response was, "That sucks. I'm super fertile! I can have all the kids I want!" (check, but not in so many words)
-If a fertile person ever told you that they would be your surrogate because they have no problem getting pregnant.
-If you have ever gotten a shower invite through email while sitting at work trying to forget about TTC. (check!)
-If you know what an RE is. (check!)
-If you have ever graphed out your cycle on chart paper. (check!)
-If you have kept a HPT or OPK in your purse to use when you were at work or out just in case. (check, every month!)
-If you can't wait to see the peak symbol. (check!)
-If you have ever spat on a microscope in order to see ferns.
-If you laugh when people tell you to use pillows under your butt after sex.
-If you have picked out crib bedding or nursery decor online and you're not pregnant. (check!)
-If you have ever felt panic when seeing a pregnant lady. (check!)
-If you dread holidays because there are no children to share them with. (check!)
-If you have ever held a baby or child and quietly pretended for a second that they're yours. (check!)
-If you have ever walked around the store in order to avoid the baby/toddler section. (check! Did that the other day in Walmart)
-If you cannot park in the front spots of a store because they are for pregnant and expectant mothers only. (check, I did that the other day thinking I got a good spot, imagine how upset that made me 2 days post miscarriage)
-If you've ever had to go IN the baby/toddler section of a store in order to buy something for someone else's baby. (check!)
-If you've ever yelled out during watching a movie or tv show about someone who's trying for a baby, "That's SO not realistic!" (check, again embarrassing!)
-If you've ever sat around with a group of women who shared birth stories and labor pains and felt like you didn't fit in. (check, almost every day at work)
-If you've ever told anyone you are infertile and they're response was, "That sucks. I'm super fertile! I can have all the kids I want!" (check, but not in so many words)
-If a fertile person ever told you that they would be your surrogate because they have no problem getting pregnant.
-If you have ever gotten a shower invite through email while sitting at work trying to forget about TTC. (check!)
-If you know what an RE is. (check!)
-If you have ever graphed out your cycle on chart paper. (check!)
-If you have kept a HPT or OPK in your purse to use when you were at work or out just in case. (check, every month!)
-If you can't wait to see the peak symbol. (check!)
-If you have ever spat on a microscope in order to see ferns.
-If you laugh when people tell you to use pillows under your butt after sex.
-If you have picked out crib bedding or nursery decor online and you're not pregnant. (check!)
-If you have ever felt panic when seeing a pregnant lady. (check!)
If you meet the criteria above, or you'd like to submit your own, please post the following award on your blog. This is for all of the women who will no longer be silent about their infertility. This is to remind you that you need not be ashamed and you are definitely not alone. This is to remind you to speak up the next time someone gives you fertility advice.
Rules for posting award:
1-Link back to this post so that others will read the original story behind the award
2-Nominate 4 others who have not been "silent about their infertility"
3-Enjoy speaking out and speaking up
7 comments:
I am so honored that you gave me this award...I also cried that you gave me this award. I wish we weren't on this rollercoaster ride together. Praying for God's blessing in 2009.
I am praying for your through the Dwelling in the Land blog. I just read up that you recently had a blighted ovum...not your first I understand??
I am so very, very sorry. I had a blighted ovum 2 years ago, my first and only pregnancy...so far.
I know how staring at that empty ultrasound screen feels, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I can not imagine seeing it twice.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Please know I am praying for you!! I am lifting you up before the Lord and asking Him to bless you SOON!!!
Blessings,
kendra
P.S. LOVED this post, and LOVE your background - I have the same one!!!
Amanda-
Thanks for the invite to your blog through FB. I would have never known about it. The award is too funny and very sad but it's a nice way to look at things and unfortunately, I checked off quite a few myself. As my friend and coworker told me a few weeks ago, our goal for this year is 2 lines in 09! I am willing to share that goal with you too my friend!! Love you!!! Chea
Amanda, you are so sweet and I thank you for passing this award along to me. I, too, hate that we have to know what even one of the things on this list feels like, much less nearly all of them. I am continuing to pray for God's biggest blessings on our lives this year as we wait on His perfect ways in His perfect time. I am so thankful for the love, prayers and support I've found from other amazing women like yourself along this journey.
Hugs and prayers, Faith
You don't know me but I came across your page on Kelly's blog and I along with you, am praying for sweet Harper. Wanted to stop by and say hello. Stop by my page sometime if you'd like. www.travelwithlauren.blogspot.com
Yes yes yes yes yes and yes. To all of these--several times over!! This is funny and I think only something you would understand if you'd been through it. Thanks for the email info--I'll send you one and then you'll have mine. Feel free to email to vent or chat anytime!
JG
Oh my goodness! I can't believe that list is SO accurate! I have felt and experienced ALL of those exact things.
I will pray that you and your husband will find your way to a healthy baby, just like we did. It was a very long, difficult road...but we made it. And I'm sure we are stronger with each other and with God because of it. It truly does strengthen your bond and your character!
I'll add you to my "baby prayer list"! :)
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